‘Who are you going with?’ – my least favourite words before a trip. Particularly before this trip. Because the answer was no-one, I was going to Bucharest alone. The responses were mixed, but generally they all made me feel terrible. Apart from one, one girl said it was really cool and she wished she could be the kind of person to go alone. I appreciated her saying that more than she will ever know.
And I actually did have a great time on my own. There were a few moments when I thought, why isn’t there anyone I miss? Why don’t I have someone I desperately wish was here? But these moments passed quickly.
Overall, I had a great time. As someone that often feels uncomfortable in social situations, being alone for a few days was just so relaxing. I did exactly what I wanted, when I wanted which was lovely but also made me realise how rarely I do this in real life. So much of my life is decided by what other people want, or my worries about what others might think.
One of my favourite quotes from Peep Show is Mark saying “I suppose doing things you hate is the price you pay to avoid loneliness.” But what if I wasn’t so desperate to avoid loneliness, could I truly do what I love?