18 months ago I moved 400 miles from home to a new job, new town, new life. I didn’t think twice about the decision, it was a good job and I was ready to try something new. But being the new girl in town in your 20s is hard. I have never put effort into making friends, until the age of 18 all of my friends were from school, and friendships just happened naturally there. At 18, I went to university, moved into student accommodation and became friends with neighbours basically due to close proximity and everyone was new in town. But at 22, I moved for work. Everyone already had friends, family and a life. After university, people aren’t desperate to make friends, they already have them. And I’m introverted, I don’t make the first move in a friendship or really put any effort at any stage. After university, you have to try and if your social skills are as bad as mine, you are required to try extremely hard to get anywhere.
Now I have some friends, mainly through work, and I regularly have Friday night plans. But what do I do all day Saturday? Full day plans seem to be reserved for ‘close friends’ and ‘best friends’ and ‘friends you can’t see during the week’. Apparently this just gets harder with age. If this is how hard it is at 23, I wouldn’t want to be the new girl in my 40s.
I need to have the confidence to put myself out there, try new things and meet new people and I haven’t figured out quite how to do that yet. But doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is insane…so I guess I’m going to have to try something new.