‘Why don’t you date more?’

I want to talk about something that is difficult to talk about. Dating as a fat person.

My lack of a love life has always somewhat bothered me but as a low-key issue. I knew it bothered me, but I could forget about it and convince myself and others that I was fine alone. After moving to a new town and making new friends I have found myself spending time predominantly with people who are in relationships which has never really been the case for me. And the thing about people in relationships, is they think everyone should be in a relationship which has opened up a lot of questions about my dating life. ‘Don’t you want to get a boyfriend? ‘Are you on tinder?’ ‘When was the last time you went on a date?’ ‘Will you go on a date soon?’

And I hate it.

Dating is personal and I don’t like talking about my personal life. I don’t want to discuss with anyone the reasons I don’t date which would only embarrass me.

I’m fat and that makes dating hard. I have been on tinder and I have dated men from there but no-one I have clicked with. My friend advises I need to be pickier with who I go on dates with and find someone I actually think I will enjoy dating. But what my friends don’t understand is that as a fat girl in her 20s, the choices for dating are limited. I can’t go on tinder and find a boyfriend in 3 days like they can. So far it’s been probably a total of 3 years on tinder and still no boyfriend. But how do you explain this to people without sounding self pitying and depressed? How can I possibly expect any of my friends to understand when they have had guys throwing themselves at them since they were 16 and I have always been the unwanted fat friend?

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