Get good grades, go to university, get a job. That’s what I was told to do and that’s what I did. That is what people do, it was supposed to make me happy.
I was offered a graduate job 8 hours from home and I didn’t even consider turning down the offer. This is what I had worked so hard for. But being away from home is much harder than I had anticipated.
I have no friends here, and I don’t know how to make them. I spend a lot of time alone, I get homesick and sad. I worry about not being there when my family needs me, about losing my friends from home and ending up with none at all. I worry I’ll never be able to leave this town now, I worry I won’t be able to cope and will leave too soon. There are so many things I worry about now. I thought things would become much clearer when I got a job, but I still feel as clueless as ever.
This might not be where I will be forever, this might not be the right career path, but things will be ok. This might not be my favourite town in the world and it might not be my dream job but the alternative would be unemployment and living in my mother’s house where I would inevitably become depressed.
I know I made the right decision accepting the job and moving and I know eventually things will get easier and I will start to feel at home but right now it feels like the hardest thing I have ever had to do.